Cynthia Spielmaker, LLP

Men’s Lack of ConcernMen tend to distance from a partner (or get a new one) when the going gets rough, rather than to hang in and struggle for change. Until we are able to expect more from men in order to stay with them or continue business as usual, it is unlikely that men will feel called upon to change or even pay attention. Women are the ExpertsRather in relationships between dominant and subordinate groups, the subordinate group members always possess a far greater understanding of dominant group members and their culture than vice versa. In fact, guilt is woven into the very fabric of womanhood. As one family therapist said: “Show me a woman who doesn’t feel guilt, and I’ll show you a man.”Feelings of guilt run deepest and are most ingrained in mothers, who are the first to be blamed and the first to blame themselves. I think these ideas, which the counselor seemed to embrace, convey an extremely narrow, unhealthy and destructively hostile perspective on gender.